


Touch and Feel

by chipsandwaffles



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Insecurity, M/M, simmons hates himself so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-09
Updated: 2014-04-09
Packaged: 2018-01-18 17:42:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1437076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chipsandwaffles/pseuds/chipsandwaffles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The only thing Simmons wanted to keep was his ability to touch and feel Grif.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Touch and Feel

**Author's Note:**

> It's sad? I think? It's supposed to be. Ugh, grimmons gets to me man. Enjoy?

Simmons didn't know what was happening. He could hear Sarge talking and Donut crying. He wanted to tell Donut to shut up or to go away. Either was fine with him. Someone was touching him. He opened his eyes, trying to make out who it was but he immediately shut them again, the harsh light from above too much.

His head was throbbing. Someone was placing a wet rag on his forehead, and he wondered him it was the same person. He opened his eyes again, trying to make out something, but everything hurt too much. He closed his eyes and everything seemed to fade out.

It was only a few hours later when he woke up again. He blinked his eyes open a few times before adjusting, looking up at the ceiling of his shared bunk with Grif. He sighed in relief, looking over to see if Grif was with him, snuggled up to him as usual, but there was no sign of the other man.

Simmons sat up slowly, making sure he wouldn't hurt himself or his head in the process. He swung his legs over the bed and stood up, lifting his human hand to hang onto the railing-

"Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! What is this?! What the fuck is this?!" Grif was rushing to their room as fast as he could, seeing the taller man on his knees, staring at his right arm.

"Oh, shit. Simmons, hey, it's okay-

"Okay?! Okay?! Now I have two robot arms! How did this happen? What the fuck happened?!" Grif moved over to his boyfriend and sat on the bed, touching at his shoulder.

"The blues came over with the tank and-

"You have got to be kidding me! I got ran over with a tank?! Then why didn't Sarge give me your arm, huh? He did it before! I gave you my arm and I got all the cyborg parts! Now I have even more, Grif!"

"Simmons, dude, calm the fuck down. It's fine-"

Said man stood up and moved away from Grif, looking out the small window in their room.

"This isn't fair. This isn't fair."

"Simmons..." Grif stood up and moved over to Simmons, touching at his shoulder again. He slapped his hand away and turned to him, tears running down his face.

"This isn't fair! I can't even feel you now! Do you know how that feels, Grif? All I wanted to keep - it was always just one thing - and that was to be able to always _feel_ and _touch_ the person I loved. I have two metal arms now, Grif. Two cold, metal arms that are there, hanging by my side. Half of me is a fucking cyborg and how can I possibly believe anyone would like me like this, let alone you?"

"You can still feel me." Grif made a point by grabbing his shoulder again and squeezing it. "See, you can feel that, right?"

"I can feel you, but not with my hands." Simmons raised them up and waved them in front of Grif. "They're not mine. Can I feel you when we hold hands? Or when I touch your face when I kiss you? Or when I hold onto you when you..."

"Oh."

"Oh? That's all you have to say. Oh? Wow, Grif. I'm glad I've entrusted my feelings in you."

"What the fuck do you want me to say, Simmons?" Grif said, taking a step away from him. "I'm sorry we saved your life? I'm sorry I didn't want you to die? I'm sorry the only way Sarge could keep you alive was giving you more body parts? I'm fucking sorry, okay. But it's not going to change." Simmons swatted at his tears with one of his hands and looked down at the ground.

"Y-you're an a-asshole."

"Yeah, saving your life because I love you. So sorry for being an asshole."

"Ugh, y-you don't u-understand!" Simmons stepped closer to Grif, grabbing his face with both of his hands and making eye contact with him, tears still rolling down his cheeks. "It's n-not going to b-be the s-same anymore!"

Grif stared at him, and brought one of his hands up to his face, wiping at his tears. He fucking hated it when Simmons cried.

"This-this right n-now? I can't f-feel it. I c-can't feel your f-face." Grif nodded his head and closed his eyes.

"Fuck, Simmons, I'm sorry."

"I-I can f-feel everything y-you're d-doing to me. B-but when I t-try to touch you it-it's not the s-same. I can't f-feel it." Grif grabbed both of Simmons hands and removed them from his face, putting them back at his side. He didn't want this for Simmons. Anyone else but Simmons.

He pulled him into a tight hug, letting the other man cry into his shoulder. He deserved that much. He deserved to cry as much as he wanted to. And Grif was going to be there for him, no matter how much Simmons wanted to yell and scream and cry. Grif was always going to be there.


End file.
